Tuesday, May 23, 2006

It's the little things really.  Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The saddest part of today:

Driving past a shady parking lot carnival hours before it opened to the public and not being able to stop and get cotton candy.

That is all.

Monday, May 15, 2006

“It’s really slippery.”

“I know. Here take my hand.”

"What? Wait a second, where’d you come from? I didn’t ask you to come."

"I know. But didn’t you realize you can’t do this alone?"

"Yes I can. I always have."

"No, not this time."

"Yes, this time. How is this different? I know it’s a little rockier. I know it’s a little harder to see the path but I’ve made it out before and I’ll make it out again."

"Don’t you understand? I can’t just meet you on the other side? I can’t just let you do this alone."

"Yes, you can. I’ll make it through fine."

"But different. You’ll make it through different."

"So? That’s life. Difficult things make us who we are. We can't help but be changed by that."

"So, if you’re going to be different, I want to be there to see it along the way. I want to see it in your face as you take a wrong turn and find your way back. I want to let you lean on me when you get tired. I want to be there for the beginning. And the middle. And the end."

"You don’t understand. Maybe, just maybe if I can do this on my own, then I’ll be ready."

"Ready for what? What could you possibly not feel ready for?"

"Ready to be loved."

"I already love you."

"By me. I want to be ready to be loved by me."

"Don’t you understand, that’s not a destination you just come to. That’s not the end of a road. It doesn’t ever end."

"But I don’t even know how to begin."

"You already have. You just have to keep going."

"I’m scared."

"I know. Me too. Here, take my hand. We'll just follow the path."



Friday, May 12, 2006

I wish that I had some brilliant excuse for why I haven’t blogged in a month. But it would be just that, an excuse and why bother. There’s a part of my life lately that I wish I could be watching from a distance. It’s surprising to me to see and to feel, as somehow if I could just separate myself enough, maybe it’ll make sense. Maybe not.

Earlier this week my dedication to a certain unnamed band (ahem Nickel Creek) was tested. They’ve booked a last minute concert in Bloomington. And God bless them, they booked it the exact same day I’ve got tickets to see The Fray here in Indy. I was a little concerned that my friend who’s seeing the show with me wouldn’t truly understand my moral dilemma. But she pulled through, we’re selling the Fray and going to see Nickel Creek. What’s that you ask? Yes, I do have tickets to see them the following day in Cincinnati. So what? That might be the two best days I’ve had in a row in a really really long time. :) So, crisis averted.

Seems like this must be the time in life to see all your friends go through major changes. At least these are good changes. With the big 28 coming up at the end of this month for me, I’ve found myself a little more introspective than usual. Oh who am I kidding? I’m always way too introspective. Anyway, it’s interesting to see, even more interesting to experience. I’ve got a sense of peace in my life right now that I honestly don’t feel like I’ve had in such a long time. I’m not sure what that means, but it seems like for the first time in a really really long time, I’m not too worried about it. I’m being constantly reminded that life isn’t in what’s going to happen tomorrow, but in the living of today. I think I’ve been overlooking that lately. A couple years ago, I was in this quaint little store in some tiny store in Kentucky with my family and I came across a piece of painted pottery. Maybe I’ve mentioned it on my blog before, who knows. Anyway, it was a crude painting of a girl standing at the top of a mountain with her arms stretched wide to the sky. And it simply said, I am exactly where I am supposed to be. That image has just stayed in my head. And lately, that’s exactly what I’ve felt.

It's kind of a nice change.