Thursday, September 30, 2004

And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free....

Top 10 fun things about my life right now.

10. Started a new FISH group. It’s great and I have normal single friends again that don’t all have the name Menny. (No offense to my marrieds or nearly so that I love, or to my Menny who is the best single person in the world…)

9. I’ve finally found someone who enjoys watching ER with me. After all the Thursday night parties at 820, where my roomies were nice enough to overlook the ensuing madness that was ER night, I’ve finally found someone out here who will watch it with me. Then again on second thought, I’d say the girls probably enjoyed Thursday’s since it typically promised cookies and Kool-Aid. Anyway, yay for other people who like ER and don’t have to go home to their spouses as soon as it’s over.

8. I’ve had 2 straight weekends of weddings of some of my best friends and I made it out unscathed. No really, they were both great and I’m so happy for all 4 people involved. Here’s to hoping my wedding is the next one I have to be in. (Again no offense to the nearly marrieds that I love and would be honored to stand up with if/when that time came. You know who you are.)

7. While this may seem paltry to some of you- I’m pretty excited over this one. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is now out on video and I can watch it with Mo. Things never worked out to see it in the theatre, so I’ve been waiting a while to get to watch it. Some movies you just know you’re going to love.

6. I was cast in our Christmas Musical of Scrooge. So for any of you out there who’re bored December 17, 18, or 19 make the trip up to Avon for a little Christmas fun. I promise to be over the top and completely crazy as Mrs. Fessiwig. The interesting thing about that part is that I was actually originally cast as the Ghost of Christmas Past. This was actually the part I wanted and was hoping to get. I then had that part taken away b/c the person who was going to play Mrs. F couldn’t carry the song. So I lost the part I wanted b/c I can sing. Oh the irony… Sidebar here, one of my closest friends just got cast in Indianapolis Civic Theatre’s production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. So if you’re bored anytime between December 10 and January 2, from Wednesday to Saturday - I promise you’ll be entertained. He went back for callbacks to sing for one of the brothers and ended up cast as Pharoah. Who knew. I can also promise you that he will be over the top and entertaining. Unfortunately you’d have to pay to see him and I’m free.

5. A week from Sunday I’ve got tickets to see Nickel Creek in Bloomington at the IU Auditorium. This will be only the second time out of all my NC experiences that I’ve seen them in a theatre that you’re supposed to sit in. To make it more fun, some of my closest friends who’ve never experienced NC with me, as well as some new friends are going to make the trek as well. They have no idea what they’re getting themselves into…

4. On that same NC note, Chris Thile’s solo CD comes out in a couple of weeks on October 12. That’s a mere 2 days following my trip to see them in Bloomington. I’m really hoping to get to hear a little of the stuff off the album live. It’s described as late-era Elliot Smith with Chris playing every instrument on the entire album. (over 25 different ones). It doesn’t get much better than that.

3. 2 weeks from tomorrow at 7:20p.m. I will be boarding a plane for my first trip to NYC. While it’s only a couple days long, I’m going with some of my co-workers and I’m pretty sure it may end up being one of the keenest weekends in the entire world.

2. I still love my job. I love the people I work with. I love the things they teach me. I love the way we laugh and I love that I can take a trip to NYC, go see a Broadway show and have the ticket paid for b/c it’s research for when the show is here in the spring. (Hairspray). I love that they support me so much that they’re going to see NC just b/c I love them, and that they’ll make big sacrifices with the work schedule just so I can be involved in the musical at church. They’re great and I can’t get over how blessed

1.While in NYC on the above mentioned trip, I’m not seeing only 1, but 2 Broadway shows. One of which is Hairspray as mentioned above and the other is Wicked. We’ve even got house seats for it, so that means front and center. I haven't been this excited about seeing a show since I first saw RENT. I'm pretty sure I may cry all the way through it.

I'm through accepting limits, cause someone says they're so.
Somethings I cannot change, but till I try I'll never know.

So there are some of the fun things in my life right now.
New friends, old friends, close friends, new beginnings, NYC, and Nickel Creek
It doesn't get much better than that.

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

The sea was calling to him.

Lately I’ve felt almost like I have so much going on in my mind that I should do nothing but write for weeks to get it all out. My thoughts are going a million different places at once and there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to really get them all out. Have you ever felt like you realized suddenly life was this adventure you’d been missing out on all these years, and there isn’t enough time to breathe and love and run and sing the way you want to? I know that sounds absolutely ludicrous. And maybe it is. Maybe it’s crazy. I think that suddenly my life is stable so all of these aspects of life that I’ve been missing out on (b/c I was so focused on the where and the what instead of the who and the how) are just tumbling over each other trying to come out. I started a new book yesterday and for some reason this excerpt spoke to where I am.

Had you journeyed in those days through the barren lands, you might have seen the sea lion for yourself. Quite often in the evening, he would go and sit upon his favorite rock, a very large boulder, which lifted him off the burning sand and allowed him a view of the entire country.

There he would remain for hours into the night, silhouetted against the sky. And on the best nights, when the wind shifted to the east, a faint smell of salt air would come to him on the breeze. Then he would close his eyes and imagine himself once more at the sea. When he lay himself down to sleep, he would dream of a vast, deep ocean. Twisting and turning, diving and twirling, he would swim and swim and swim. When he woke, he thought he heard the sound of the breakers.

The sea was calling to him.
(The Journey of Desire- J. Eldredge)

Sometimes when we experience things in our life, we get so distracted that we allow ourselves to mute the very voice of God. Maybe it’s listening too much to the head and not enough to the heart. Maybe it’s the hardening of the heart, maybe it’s the pounding in the ears. Whatever it is, I feel like I’ve done it for too long. I think that I needed to experience what I have in this last year to bring me where I am. But it’s like all of a sudden I hear his voice again. I hear it in all the music I listen to. I feel it in the way the temperatures changing outside, and more than anything else I’m experiencing it in the people He’s putting in my life. He’s calling to me. I think I’d forgotten just what an amazing overwhelming feeling that is.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

And the waves crashing around me, the sand slips out to sea.
And the winds that blow remind me, of what has been, and what can never be.

I recently found someone again. I don’t mean someone who disappeared or moved away. It was just someone who was lost. There for months, her boat was taking on water. I watched, and I prayed that the lighthouse would offer enough light that she could keep her sense of direction even as she felt like she was sinking. I think she’s finally found land again. She’s different somehow. Different in that way that only people who’ve nearly drowned can understand. She’s stronger and while she still feels a bit lost. I think she’s finally finding her way home. I’m different too. In that way that only those who’ve watched a kindred spirit desperately fight to keep their head above water can understand. And I’m humbled at the wide expansive light that we only catch a glimpse of sometimes. I was afraid we’d never be the same again. I had no idea that’s exactly what He wanted.