Friday, October 15, 2004


It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.
-- Nick Hornby, High Fidelity


Had an interesting discussion with a VIP in my life. She's recently met someone new, and we talked a while about singleness and the things that we've learned in our relationships, or in my case of the last several years, lack thereof. I had just had an interesting conversation with a very close friend the other night as well. He says he doesn't ever really want to get married or have kids. I can respect that even if I can't understand it. However this week, he said I know I don't want to date anyone again, but if I did I was thinking about the qualities I'd have to have in someone and I realized all of them were you. I've been friends with this person a really long time, and he and I have never discussed any form of "us" before. All of this relational talk has left me thinking- what kind of a person am I going to end up with? I was thinking about it this morning when I came across the above quote from High Fidelity. It made me laugh b/c I imagined this friend's musical collection vs my own and knew that they'd never work out. Mine might check his out, but his would never give mine a chance. And as crazy as that is, it's important to me. I worry though that maybe I dismiss the thought of people that I could really learn something from too quickly. Maybe not marry, but learn something from. Which brings me back to my conversation with Mo. Is it better to have several disappointments of the possibility of "it" not being "IT" or is better to be alone longer? Guess it all depends on the person. Is it ok to date someone you can learn something from even if you don't ever think you'll marry? I guess it's all a bit precarious in nature. So maybe for now I'll just let the above quote be my gauge.


I forget the difference between being loved and being a loose-pocket,
worn wallet, short-sighted friend to lift money off of,
maybe I'm playing their game,
so I can have a show where I stick 'em like a pig one day...
tell 'em they can go to hell 'cause they don't know another way...
or maybe I'm here 'cause it's something to do...
still waters can run shallow too and I could watch myself run dry.

Ready for Anything
-Chris Thile
Posted by Hello

Monday, October 11, 2004

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide


So last night I went to the Nickel Creek/Howie Day concert. It was one of the best evenings I’ve had in a really long time. There’s not much better than spending an entire evening laughing and listening to amazing music. Great, Great, Great. I do have to say that I’ve realized I much prefer Nickel Creek in a smaller room setting as opposed to the theatre. I had great seats, but found that it was hard to pick up on their energy from so far away. They played great. No new songs, or at least no new songs to me. I guess if you only had their albums tons of it would seem new but anyway… It was a really good show and the first time most of the people with me had seen them. I enjoyed it, but when they finished I didn’t have that completely overwhelmed sort of feeling that I had when I saw them in Cleveland. I’m not sure what was different. The music was great. The crowd was quiet. My seats were good. But there was something missing. I guess there’s just something so intense when you’re packed in like sardines feeding off of a band’s energy as well as the energy of all the people that you’re surrounded by. This was the first time I’d really seen Howie Day live. I’ve had his CD for a while and wasn’t that impressed by it. I enjoyed it but I knew that I preferred him live from an acoustic version of Perfect Time of Day I’d come across. Anyway, I’d heard a bit of him at an outdoor concert thing I worked several months ago in the parking lot at a theatre we use for some of our shows as well. I only caught a bit of his set and that was more just some of the sound along with all the background noise. I definitely didn’t see him perform. Anyway, he blew me away. It was a solo show and I don’t think I’d ever want to see him with a band. He does so much with loops, you’d never know it was one person by listening. It was amazing. Honestly unlike any other solo guitarist I’d seen before. I loved it. So did the people that I was with. Even more so than Nickel Creek but I can’t hold that against them. :)

So with that fun out of the way now I just have NYC to look forward to. Glad I don’t have to wait very long…

On a completely unrelated note, well maybe not completely… last night was the first time I’d been down to Bloomington since Fall has essentially hit campus. I always find that to be the hardest time for me to visit. It’s almost more nostalgia than I can handle. This last night was worsened by the fact that I parked on my old street right across from some of our old campus houses and had to walk right past the house I lived in for 3 years. Such an overwhelming abundance of different feelings. I learned so much about myself during those years in 820. Some days when it’s nice and chilly outside like last night, I’d like nothing better than to climb out my window and sit on the roof with a blanket watching the campus as the temperature drops. I wonder if I knew then what that time would mean in my life if I could’ve possibly enjoyed it any more? I don’t know if that’s possible. All I do know is I miss Bloomington in the fall.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Fill your ears with every note
Direction seems the only hope
It's cloud and let's create now
Do no wrong

This song has been haunting me for the last day so I thought I’d share it. I love songs that I hear 3 lines of and know it’s going to stick in my head and play over and over until I really process what I think it means and what it makes me feel. This is one of those songs. I’d tell you how the band is, but I haven’t gotten past this one song yet to know. It makes me want to listen closer though, and bow my head quicker. It makes me want to watch for His presence and be a little more open about what I think and how I feel. All of that out of barely 4 minutes of sound. How can people not be affected by music?

One of my closest friends had a brain tumor 10 or so years ago. Following that surgery, she lost a large chunk of her memory from several years of her life. She remembers very little, but after hearing a song from an old CD the other day- she had memories that she hadn’t had for years. It’s amazing how music affects us. She seemed a little surprised when Jamie and I immediately told her it was because it was music. I guess it didn’t really surprise me, then again for better or for worse I think responsively in lyric way too much of the time. Anyway, thanks to Thirteen Senses for making me think a little bit today.


Do No Wrong

Satellites contain us
Traffic lights control us
Rocket, shoot us up into the skies
Rocket, shoot us up into the skies

Letters keep us posted
Numbers calculated
Nothing puts us up when we are down
Nothing puts us up when we are down

Complement the atmosphere
Fill the ground with all my tears
Drive them up to make them fear
Do no wrong
Complement the atmosphere
Fill the ground with all my tears
Drive them up to make them fear
Do no wrong

Strange surrounds each corner
Stains pollute the water
Something for us all to think about
Something for us all to think about

Summer sun protects us
Winter rains torment us
Now it seems to me we can't be free
Now it seems to me we can't be free

Close the door before it's late
We were born to love and hate
Turn it down for our own sake
Do no wrong
Fill your ears with every note
Direction seems the only hope
It's cloud and let's create now
Do no wrong

Common sense protects us
Everything affects us
To the outside light it's paradise
To the outside light it's paradise