Friday, October 15, 2004

It's no good pretending that any relationship has a future if your record collections disagree violently or if your favorite films wouldn't even speak to each other if they met at a party.
-- Nick Hornby, High Fidelity

Had an interesting discussion with a VIP in my life. She's recently met someone new, and we talked a while about singleness and the things that we've learned in our relationships, or in my case of the last several years, lack thereof. I had just had an interesting conversation with a very close friend the other night as well. He says he doesn't ever really want to get married or have kids. I can respect that even if I can't understand it. However this week, he said I know I don't want to date anyone again, but if I did I was thinking about the qualities I'd have to have in someone and I realized all of them were you. I've been friends with this person a really long time, and he and I have never discussed any form of "us" before. All of this relational talk has left me thinking- what kind of a person am I going to end up with? I was thinking about it this morning when I came across the above quote from High Fidelity. It made me laugh b/c I imagined this friend's musical collection vs my own and knew that they'd never work out. Mine might check his out, but his would never give mine a chance. And as crazy as that is, it's important to me. I worry though that maybe I dismiss the thought of people that I could really learn something from too quickly. Maybe not marry, but learn something from. Which brings me back to my conversation with Mo. Is it better to have several disappointments of the possibility of "it" not being "IT" or is better to be alone longer? Guess it all depends on the person. Is it ok to date someone you can learn something from even if you don't ever think you'll marry? I guess it's all a bit precarious in nature. So maybe for now I'll just let the above quote be my gauge.

I forget the difference between being loved and being a loose-pocket,
worn wallet, short-sighted friend to lift money off of,
maybe I'm playing their game,
so I can have a show where I stick 'em like a pig one day...
tell 'em they can go to hell 'cause they don't know another way...
or maybe I'm here 'cause it's something to do...
still waters can run shallow too and I could watch myself run dry.

Ready for Anything
-Chris Thile
Posted by Hello


Blogger Meagan said...

Hi. I read your blog tonight. I really enjoyed it. I randomly found it by clicking on profiles that had similar references as mine. I think it was the "Wicked" lyrics you had that brought me to yours. And then I realized a lot of your writings are about your relationship with God and I'm a Christian too and it was even more interesting.

Just thought you'd like to know. I always wonder about random strangers that might be reading my blog. It's not nearly as well-written as yours, but still. You never know.

Anyway, thanks for being out there. Thanks for sharing a bit of your heart.

love Meagan

12:20 AM  

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