Tuesday, September 28, 2004

The sea was calling to him.

Lately I’ve felt almost like I have so much going on in my mind that I should do nothing but write for weeks to get it all out. My thoughts are going a million different places at once and there don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to really get them all out. Have you ever felt like you realized suddenly life was this adventure you’d been missing out on all these years, and there isn’t enough time to breathe and love and run and sing the way you want to? I know that sounds absolutely ludicrous. And maybe it is. Maybe it’s crazy. I think that suddenly my life is stable so all of these aspects of life that I’ve been missing out on (b/c I was so focused on the where and the what instead of the who and the how) are just tumbling over each other trying to come out. I started a new book yesterday and for some reason this excerpt spoke to where I am.

Had you journeyed in those days through the barren lands, you might have seen the sea lion for yourself. Quite often in the evening, he would go and sit upon his favorite rock, a very large boulder, which lifted him off the burning sand and allowed him a view of the entire country.

There he would remain for hours into the night, silhouetted against the sky. And on the best nights, when the wind shifted to the east, a faint smell of salt air would come to him on the breeze. Then he would close his eyes and imagine himself once more at the sea. When he lay himself down to sleep, he would dream of a vast, deep ocean. Twisting and turning, diving and twirling, he would swim and swim and swim. When he woke, he thought he heard the sound of the breakers.

The sea was calling to him.
(The Journey of Desire- J. Eldredge)

Sometimes when we experience things in our life, we get so distracted that we allow ourselves to mute the very voice of God. Maybe it’s listening too much to the head and not enough to the heart. Maybe it’s the hardening of the heart, maybe it’s the pounding in the ears. Whatever it is, I feel like I’ve done it for too long. I think that I needed to experience what I have in this last year to bring me where I am. But it’s like all of a sudden I hear his voice again. I hear it in all the music I listen to. I feel it in the way the temperatures changing outside, and more than anything else I’m experiencing it in the people He’s putting in my life. He’s calling to me. I think I’d forgotten just what an amazing overwhelming feeling that is.


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