Wednesday, October 22, 2003

tomorrow, tomorrow -elliot smith, 1969-2003

The noise is coming out and if it's not out now
Then tomorrow, tomorrow...
They took your life apart and called you failures art
They were wrong though they won't know
Till tomorrow

I got static in my head, the reflected sound of everything,
Tried to go to where it led, but it didn't lead to anything,
The noise is coming out, and if it's not out now,
I know it's just about to drown tomorrow out

I just read a few minutes ago that Elliot Smith committed suicide yesterday. What a sad sad life he must’ve been living to have gone to the extremes of suicide. He was such an incredibly gifted musician. It’s so sad that you can live such a public life with your music, and have such a private despair with your life. How often do we just look past people who are silently asking you for help behind their busyness, and their walls that they’ve built? Why as humanity are we so often self-consumed and miss the people who need more help than we ever knew? Then again, unless I’m around someone who knows me well, how often do I admit to my brokenness? Why is it such a hard thing to own up to? We’re taught more in our brokenness than we ever are when things are going well. It’s taken me 25 years to finally be able to welcome my brokenness, and it sucks. But it’s also one of the most overwhelming things I’ve ever experienced and is daily making a difference in my walk with Christ. The transparency part of that sharing is taking me much longer, but I’m learning. I often wonder how people deal with anything without Christ in their lives. How in the world do you have any hope about anything without knowing that this world we’re living in is so minute in the span of what He’s created us for in eternity? I know I fall victim to the world’s mentality too often. I hate that it takes hearing about someone who you’ve only listened to, held a lot of respect for as a brilliant musician, to remember again, how lonely the world is without Christ, and how we hide our despair and our brokenness way way too much.

I hope I never forget how broken I am.


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