Monday, October 13, 2003

Give me Yourself

I hate it when you experience something incredibly beautiful, but you know that no matter how hard you try to describe it- unless this person was there to see it they’re not going to even begin to grasp what you’ve just beheld. I could use the most picturesque speech imaginable. I could just clip in random lyrics of songs. I could retype conversations I had. You’re still going to be left wondering why exactly I was affected the way I was. I think that’s part of the beauty of Christ. It’s such an intensely personal relationship, that the only way you can begin to understand is by sharing a relationship with Him as well.

I’m still trying to process everything that I experienced this past weekend at worship conference. One of the biggest realizations that I had was that following Jesus, the way that He really truly wants us to follow Him, is a painful journey. I think to be able to experience the intensity of His joy, you have to experience the intensity of His pain. Lately I’ve been incredibly lonely. I see the community that I’d experienced in the past, slowly dissipate or begin to make plans to leave, and I was left feeling as if I’m naked in the middle of the desert. And it really burns. But I don’t want water right now, what I want is to see Him. And if that means being in the desert for a while for me to be able to truly appreciate the water that he offers, that’s ok. He is a God of all comfort. He strips us of our distractions, and the things that we allow to get in the way and cloud our vision of Him. Regardless of what the distraction is, relational, emotional, even physical, He wants to strip those things from us and reveal Himself. So right now, I’m welcoming this desert with the searing heat. I’m welcoming the thirst that’s building, and overall, I’m welcoming His presence. Following Him entails a great deal of sacrifice, but if it means finding Him, no sacrifice is too great.

Above All Else- Vicky Beeching

Jesus, my passion in life is to know You.
May all other goals bow down to
This journey of loving you more

Jesus, you’ve showered your goodness on me
Given your gifts so freely
But there’s one thing I’m longing for

Hear my hearts cry
And my prayer for this life
Above all else
Above all else
Above all else
Give me Yourself


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