Thursday, October 23, 2003

One of my shoes is much tighter than the other. I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that I maybe spent $10 on them at the Value City, and they’re somehow warped. It’s really bugging me. I should just get over it, and wear different shoes, but I really like them. This is the story of my life. I have a serious shoe problem. And I do mean SERIOUS. I can have the greatest outfit on, but if I somehow make it out with shoes on that I just don’t think fit- it kills it for me. So here I am, wearing these fantastic- and cheap mind you- black suede hush puppie loafers, that just aren’t so comfortable. I guess if the only thing I have to spend my time worrying about are my shoes, then I’m pretty blessed.

I think you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes. It’s funny, but the minute I meet a person, or watch someone walk by, I immediately scan down to the feet. I met a guy the other day, he thought I was crazy that I said you can learn a lot by someone by their shoes, then I told him what I’d gathered from the shoes he was wearing and he was actually really surprised. So while you may doubt my shoe discernment, I know the truth. I want to marry someone with great shoe taste. I try not to entertain the thoughts about what the man I marry will be like, b/c really, what good does it do me to dwell on something that obviously isn’t in God’s timing for right now. (And I obviously don’t want to pigeonhole God into what I “think” I want in a husband if it’s so different from what He thinks is best for me.) So before I derail into that train of thought- as a whole, creative minded people, and in particular, musicians have really good shoe taste. I don’t know if it’s just another way for them to express themselves or what. I think that’s what it is for me. I find it funny sometimes, the clothes I wear and the shoes I buy. B/c if you were to just meet me, and we were to have a short conversation- you’d probably walk away not having a clue of what I’m like. I know I’m not that great of wearing my personality, and I think I typically meet people in an immediate skeptical manner b/c I just take for granted they’re not going to get me. Plus I think if you keep yourself a little reserved while figuring the other person out, you know better the way to connect with them. I think 95% of the people I meet walk away thinking, well she’s nice. And that’s about all they get. It always reminds me of one of my good friends who told me that people are like mazes. Some people are incredibly easy to get to the middle of and see your way out- others are much more complicated. It’s all in whether or not they want to make the effort to get through it. I’ll be the first to admit, I sometimes make my maze unnecessarily complicated. I don’t necessarily want many people to get to the middle of it, b/c what if they get to the middle of it, to the very heart of what my maze is about, and then don’t like it. It’s rejection in the rawest, purest form possible. I have put up in the past, more than my fair share of walls, or dead ends I suppose- to prevent people from finding their way through. In the past, it was much easier to deal with. The older I get, or maybe it’s really not an age factor, but a God factor- anyway, the more time that passes, and the more I grow, the more I realize that allowing those connections, even if only temporary show me more of who I really am. The ugliest parts of myself, as well as the most beautiful and unique. And really what is the rejection I suffer compared to Christ’s rejection? Anyway, I’m way off topic from my original shoe discussion. That’s what happens when I follow train of thought.

I’m carving pumpkins tomorrow night with some friends. It’s been so long since I’ve done that. We’re actually getting together to drink beer and carve pumpkins, so depending on what the order is of the evening could definitely effect my end result. Oh who am I kidding? I’m a pumpkin carving novice anyway, the beer might actually help. Maybe I’ll write about that next week. I guess I never really filled you in on Liz’s Ultimate Weekend of Fun. Nickel Creek was amazing, Passion Tour was amazing, and RENT was pretty good. If I could recast Roger from an unattractive Brendan Frasier look-alike with bad shaggy hair, into someone who actually had some acting talent to go along with the voice, it would’ve been much better. I also wish that the rest of the cast would’ve been a little messier with their vocals. I much prefer character and personality in vocals to refinement and training. Any day. I’m still torn about getting tickets for the Nickel Creek concert in a few weeks. It’d mean skipping out on my FISH group meeting. We’re covering 40 Days of Purpose, and I’ve been leading it. So I really pushed in the beginning making sure you’re there if at all possible, and to let us know if you can’t be there… blah blah blah. I think I shot myself in the foot with that one. But I’m still considering. It’s a theatre concert, so I know it’ll be a good one, w/o a bunch of fans who just happened upon the show b/c they were at an outdoor festival like last weekend. Not that it’s not good to be introduced to new bands this way, but for my view to definitely be blocked by a bunch of randoms who could care less that Chris played the bouzouki on the Smoothie Song like he does on the album, and actually spliced in BOTH Yellow AND I Am Trying to Break Your Heart in the Lighthouse’s Tale- well it just hardly seems fair. Then again the fact that I’m only 5 ‘1 seems hardly fair as well. And I’m sure that’s partly to blame for the obstructed view. Anyway, it was a really good weekend. I’m definitely paying for the 3 ½ hours of hard singing this week from the Passion Tour, but I figured that too going into it. So I’ve now accomplished to write a really long entry about nothing. What else is new?


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