Tuesday, September 09, 2003

“Take off your Band-aid because I don’t believe in touchdowns…”

I’m not sure how well the day is starting off. I made it to work and realized that I had my shirt on inside-out.
I’m 25 years old, and I still have trouble dressing myself. Geez.

However, after sitting here thinking about it for a while, I found it to be a good illustration of where I am right now. God is trying to transform me. I’m more aware of it right now in my life than I have ever been before. Mainly b/c I’m uncomfortable. Some of the relationships that I usually glean a great deal of worth out of, seem to be falling short and I realize it’s due to change. Change of me, and change of them, change of surrounding, and I think more than anything else- change of perspective.

God wants to change us from the inside out. B/c what is an internal change, becomes an external display. I wonder how much I hold in those internal changes. I think when they’re fresh, even though they’ve now become a part of who we are, it’s not yet enough commonplace to feel natural when it comes out. Not that it’s an upsetting sort of change to say the least. I just continually find myself somewhat surprised at the words that come out of my mouth. Words that sound foreign, but at the same time, don’t feel a bit foreign. And I wonder why I’ve never realized I felt this way or thought this way before. It’s a verbal outpouring of the change from the inside-out.

Well anyway, just some thoughts this Tuesday morning. I’m sure you’re wondering where in the world the first line came from on my entry here. Yes I know it makes no sense. They’re lyrics from the Wilco song, I am Trying to Break Your Heart. I’m trying to expand my music awareness a bit. While trying to expand my music collection, I’m picking up new stuff each week. Last week I got a couple new bluegrass Albums. Ricky Skaggs’ new one and his fiddlers solo CD. (They were in concert here at my church Friday night, and since I had to work it, I got to hear a bit of the show.) Anyway, this week there are two bands -Wilco as I previously mentioned and The White Stripes. I’m enjoying them both immensely. Strangely enough, (not so strange to anyone who knows me, and knows how much I love NC) Wilco and The White Stripes are two bands that Nickel Creek has sampled into their live stuff. Which is how I first became interested. Thus far, all I’ve got on hand are Summerteeth by Wilco and White Blood Cells by The White Stripes. I’m really hoping to find someone with a copy of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot so I can check it out. It’s the one I’ve heard the most about. I love new music. Sometimes I feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day to listen to all the music I would like to hear. While on the topic of new music some other songs that are currently at the top of the “listen” list are “Honest Men Make the Best Liars” by NC and also their cover of the Weezer song Take Control.

Funny how some songs you just grab onto for some reason or another- Take Control is one of those…
"And I won't let you down
Drag your name all over town
And I won't be comin' back 'round here no more"
I do feel a change coming. In the sleepless nights, and silent moments that I find myself really listening. I know that change is coming. And I also know that God is preparing me for this change.
From the inside out.


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