Monday, August 04, 2003

Occasionally I have days that feel a lot like the movie Groundhog’s Day. You know, the one with Bill Murray who wakes up to the same day, over and over, and over and over again until he can finally get things right and move on to the next day. Today is so one of those days.

Don’t get me wrong, there are things about my job that are great. Today I just can’t remember what they are. I really have to remind myself that I’m doing this job as a ministry and not as a job. But it’s hard when I’m not really doing much of anything that I’m passionate about- to keep things in that perspective. I find myself wishing on Monday that it was almost Friday. I’m wishing 4/7 of my life away and that’s a terrible cycle to get into. There’s nothing about me that screams “please let me organize your life” which is essentially what I do here. I organize the music department. Granted more often than not I know what’s going on when they’ve only got little pieces of the puzzle, but that doesn’t really make the job that much more enjoyable.

Sometimes I just wonder when the building stage of this bridge will be finished. That’s totally how I envision this part of my life-as a bridge. To whatever is next. I don’t know if it’ll be here or far away, but I know that you just can’t skip over the intricacy involved in bridge building. B/c you’ll miss something, and if the bridge isn't ready and you fall- more often than not you have to go back a lot further than you were when you fell. I in no way want to rush through my life wondering so much “what’s next?” that I miss what’s here. So my prayer today, as it’s been many other days- is just simply that my eyes are open. Open to where He’s leading me, open to what He’s teaching me, open to who He is.

“everybody knows it hurts to grow up-
and everybody does.”
~Ben Folds


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