Inside My Head


“You took my hand, we sat down
You told me this was different than before
You told me you would stick around”


I told her she’d be ok. And I told her it wasn’t that bad. I told her that it was better than the alternative. And I told her that it just took time. I told her it was better to be lonely alone than lonely with. And I told her that it had its good days. I told her there were bad too, but the good would outnumber the bad. And I told her that it got easier. I told her she was a different person. And I told her she was stronger. I told her she deserved so much more. And I told her she was better off. I told her she just had to be patient. And I told her that it would happen for her. I told her just this could be enough. And I told her it was enough.

And most days, I believe that. Sometimes, though, sometimes, when I haven’t been sleeping, and my dreams don’t make sense, when I can’t get a song out of my heart, or a face out of my head I’m not so sure. And that is a weakness I’ll never understand in myself.

“But good intentions lie
beneath the sacrifice they take,
behind the guarded look in your eyes”
(t. golden)