Seems to me

I'm exactly where I dreamt

I would be

And the view from here is

Something to see

But I need a hand to hold on to

If I fall

Will you catch me?

~Aqualung


You know that feeling when something is wrong, or something is missing, or maybe you’re what’s wrong, or maybe you’re what’s missing. So you lie in bed at night and wonder at what it could be and you wander in your mind to all the places you’ve been. And all the places you want to be, and where you actually are. And you close your eyes and pray that it’ll just make a little more sense than it does right now. Disconnected, disenchanted, discouraged, just dissed. Is this what He had planned for me? Did I miss my turn? Did you see me turn around? I stumble around dizzy, too tired to figure it out, too tired to try any harder, too tired to care any more. I believe our capacity to love is intrinsically connected to our capacity to hurt. So am I learning to love better, or learning to hurt deeper? If I’m lost will you find me? Or am I supposed to search for you? Sometimes I don’t care. Most times I just don’t know. If I just turn the music up and close my eyes tighter, I think I can pretend it’s not this way. It’s easier than thinking. At least till morning.