Thursday, August 04, 2005

Scattered thoughts and clipped conversations of brokenness

“I’m sorry. My feelings have changed. But I’ll stay with you tonight. And if you wake up, and you start to cry, wake me and I’ll hold you till I go back to sleep. I’m so sorry.”

“Some of my absolute best memories with her, are of me laying in bed and just watching her sleep. For hours. And now, all of that is gone.”

“How is it possible to look at someone and see the most beautiful person you’ve ever seen, and the most horrible ugly person you’ve ever seen at the same time?”

She just looked at me and said, “How? How can I raise his daughter without a father? I’m too young. This isn’t fair.” And I thought, I took that away from someone else. And I can’t ever let that go.

“I just want to be numb. I just want my heart to be calloused. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore. My body can’t handle one more day of this pain. I seriously think I will die.”

“Isn’t it strange how when you hurt like that, you just wish you could have some horrible physical pain, for even just a moment to take away that ache that you can’t begin to touch, down deep in your chest?”

“Can I just for one day trade places with someone who doesn’t feel anything this deeply?”

I look up at her at the very tiptop of the stairs and all she says is “I’ve had you on my heart all night. Are you ok?” And the tears come.

“Listen to me. I’m so afraid that you don’t want to let go, because you think this is your only chance. This is NOT your only chance.”

“I looked at her, and I said- ‘Why do you love me? Why have you stayed with me this long?’ And she couldn’t answer it. All she could say were things I could open up my high school yearbook and read written by my classmates. 14 years and she can’t tell me anything?!”

“How could I have been soo wrong over what he was really like? How did I miss this?”

“People don’t fall out of love over imperfection. People fall more in love with someone because of those. Imperfections make people more beautiful when you love them. They don’t cause you to fall out of love. You could never change to be enough for her when she’s not enough for herself.”

Be my friend. Hold me.
Wrap me up. Unfold me.
I am small, and needy.
Warm me up.
And breath me.
~sia

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Be my friend, Hold me, wrap me up..." These are words from an Austrailian songwriter named Sia in her Song called "BREATH ME". It is a tribute to Tory Amos. It is also the last sound track on the final episode of "Six Feet Under" An outstanding song.

10:55 PM  

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